Frustration—that gnawing sense of dissatisfaction or restlessness—has a way of creeping in when life doesn’t unfold as planned. The good news? It’s often a signal, pointing us toward something deeper. Here are three simple yet profound ways to tackle frustration, inspired by lessons that have been life-changing for me.
1. Be Present
Frustration often stems from resisting the present moment. It’s a form of suffering we create for ourselves when we focus too much on what’s missing or project our desires into an imagined future. Time and time again, I’ve found this to be true in my own life. When I notice frustration bubbling up, it’s usually because I’m slipping away from the here and now.
To counter this, I remind myself to “just be here now.” It’s incredibly grounding. By simply noticing my surroundings, my breath, or the sensations in my body, I reconnect with the present moment. When you’re fully present, frustration loses its power because you’re no longer comparing what is to what could be. As simple as it sounds, presence is a game-changer.
2. Be Useful to Others
Jordan Peterson said it best: “There’s almost zero difference between being miserable and thinking about yourself.” That quote hit me like a ton of bricks. Often, our frustrations grow when we become consumed by the dramas of our own lives. The antidote? Shift your focus outward and be useful to someone else.
I recently experienced this firsthand. My stepdad received a large delivery of firewood, and I spent two days in nature stacking logs for him. Shortly after, both he and my mum came down with COVID, and I found myself cooking meals and helping around the house. These small acts of service reminded me why I’m here and how fulfilling it feels to support others.
When you’re helping someone else, your own worries shrink. You’re reminded that life isn’t just about you, and that shift in perspective can dissolve frustration almost instantly.
3. Be Aware of Suffering
When life feels heavy, it’s powerful to zoom out and consider the broader context of the world. Around the globe, countless people are facing unimaginable suffering—whether in Israel, Palestine, Ukraine, or elsewhere. Reflecting on their struggles doesn’t minimize your own, but it puts things into perspective.
Gratitude often follows awareness of suffering. I’ve learned to let this awareness remind me how fortunate I am. My challenges, while real, pale in comparison to what many endure. This doesn’t mean dismissing your own emotions but instead using perspective as a tool to cultivate appreciation for what’s going well in your life.
The Common Thread: Gratitude
Across all three ways—being present, being useful, and being aware—gratitude is the common thread. It’s the practice of noticing what’s good, even in challenging times. Gratitude can be as simple as appreciating the air you breathe, the people in your life, or the small victories that come your way.
So next time frustration arises, pause. Be present, help someone, or reflect on the blessings in your life. Each of these practices will bring you closer to a sense of peace and fulfilment, no matter what’s happening around you.
